A song about the creation of a golf course on a site of Special Scientific Interest. The scene: Aberdeenshire, the star: Donald Trump.
Sarah Malone for the Trump International Golf Links responded by saying: “Famous people are easy targets for criticism, particularly by small-minded individuals who can only find expression through sarcasm and ridicule – we’ve seen it all before.”
Not like this you haven’t, Sarah!
Anthony Baxter’s film ‘You’ve Been Trumped’ received its UK television premiere in a peak time BBC 2 slot on Sunday 21st October 2012 at 10pm.
The film was repeated on BBC2 on Tuesday 23rd October and was also screened on BBC HD at the same time.
The DVD version is now available commercially.
For those who can sing, here are the lyrics of
DONALD TRUMP DOES BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY (You may have to look elsewhere for the music!):
(A ‘Star Wars’ style rolling caption accompanied by a portentous Scots voiceover:)
This is a story of destruction and greed, a story of lies and treachery, of how one man has used power and money to diminish the truth. Ladies and gentlemen, Mister Donald Trump sings a song of relentless determination and unparalleled ego in his battle for The Great Dunes of Scotland …
TRUMP HEADS MONTAGE:
This is the real thing
Living the fantasy
Started a landslide
No escaping our destiny
Open your eyes
Look up – and you’ll see
I’m just a rich kid
I’m no nonentity
Sleazy come, sleazy go
Tell little lies –
So who’s to know ?
Demo if you want to –
Doesn’t really matter … to me …
TRUMP AT THE PIANO.
Listen, you betta understand
That I’m gonna see this through
And there ain’t nothing you can do
I’ve got the power
Because I’m filthy rich
And you ain’t got two beans –
Ain’t that a bitch ?
Sitting in my private jet
And I thank God it’s never failed me yet
In the sky
And you don’t really matter …
TRUMP AT THE PIANO AGAIN.
Too late – you’ll never stop me now –
I’ve bought up all the land
And the Council were just grand
My mama – that’s Mary McLeod from the Isle of Lewis – would be proud of me
After all, she was as Scottish as can be
Oh Scotland! Och aye, the noo!
How I love those kilts and pipes,
And I love haggis and neeps and tatties, too …
(Spoken:) Yes, and I love a wee dram – and yes, I love to toss a caber, and yes I love that funny hairy sporran thing – the way it swings against my crotch and bashes my balls when I least expect it. I love it all because at heart I’m a Scotsman not a Sassenach, and I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome you all to the biggest, the best, the finest and most environmentally friendly golf course ever – the Great Doons of Scotland …
I know a grubby little peasant of a man
Michael Forbes, Michael Forbes
Says I’m stuck in a bunker
He’s a village idiot and who’s afraid of him –
Michael Forbes, Michael Forbes, Michael Forbes
Michael Forbes – Local Hero, Local Hero Michael Forbes!
Oh, oh, oh, oh … (etc.)
I’ve got my golf course and frankly I don’t give a damn
We’ve got our golf course, and we don’t give a toss about
Anything or anybody in the way!
Built it fast, built it slow – will you let me build
No – they will not let you stay!
Let me stay!
They will not let you stay!
But who says ?
Och, hoots mon, they’re blowing you away!
Nothing more ?
Will not let you stay –
Are you sure ?
Blowing you away –
Let me stay!
MONTAGE OF THE ‘MENIE RESIDENTS’ SAYING:
No no no no no no no no …. (Etc.)
Mommy Mary, Mommy Mary!
Mommy Mary hear my prayer!
Beelzebub has Donald Trump for a son
Och aye, Och aye!
(CRASH INTO HARD ROCK BIT:)
(Visuals of land being cleared, building collapsing, Trump crest and motto: Numquam Concedere – Never give up.)
So you think you can hurt me by saying I lie
Let me tell ya there’s nothin’ my money can’t buy!
Oh Mama … They’ll never stop me now, Mama –
I’ll never give up
Never gonna give up till I win!
You don’t really matter
It’s plain for all to see
You don’t really matter –
You don’t really matter to me …
(MONTAGE OF TRUMP HEADS:)
Are we going ?
No! No! … No …?
(THE HEADS DISAPPEAR DOWN A HOLE IN THE GROUND.)
* * *
Words copyright (c) Francis Wright, 2012